


Wash Your Sins Away

by OMEGA1979



Series: The Signs that Yondu cares [17]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-02 23:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13328979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OMEGA1979/pseuds/OMEGA1979
Summary: Happy New Year everyone, so here’s the latest part. Yes, it’s a bit angst ridden, but it does get better soon.So Peter is recovering at last. But Yondu has to come to terms with his own sins, and the sins of Peter’s father.





	1. Chapter 1

 

**Chapter One**

Yondu hated sick people, he hated being sick himself. He had no patience for it, happy to leave people doped up on whatever to cure them and go on his way. Ravagers had no time for sickness or weakness, and everyone knew that.

However, Peter had been drifting in an out of consciousness for the last few days while his brain recovering and Yondu hadn’t left his side.

Several times Peter had woken up and found it strange, strange that Yondu was caring about him, strange that his hand was brushing through his hair.

“Did you really kill Writusa?” Peter had asked more than once, too which Yondu just said he had before Peter fell asleep again. Knowing the Ravager was dead gave Peter some comfort, as did the fact that Yondu hadn’t ripped him off, but Peter had never asked for the money, and Yondu was saving it all. All he had to do was ask, but Peter didn’t, he was too scared too.

Sometimes when he saw Yondu at his bedside. Peter let himself go into the other place, it was familiar even though he knew he shouldn’t. Peter knew he had depression, this feeling in his body and mind but didn’t know what to do about it, and neither did Yondu.

 

 

For Healer Raziel, who was observing this, while treating Peter, every day she had to fight the temptation to kick Yondu, Kraglin and especially her nephew for what had happened to that teenager. But she kept silent and investigated further. Though it was a surprise to the Captain when she came in and brusquely summoned Yondu into another room.

Leaving Peter’s side, Yondu followed her into a small lab. The remains of the creature cut open which had been removed from Peter’s head were exposed on a table, making it look bigger than it initially was. Yondu could see the membranes which had burrowed into Peter’s head and caused all of this while Raziel enhanced the screen in more detail.

“We did an autopsy on the damn thing, it’s from his father literally a piece of him, cut deep into his brain, causing him to go mad” Raziel explained further.

“It’s meant to lie dormant for years, ebbing at his brain and his confidence the older he got. However, when he was comatose after surviving the vacuum of space, the trauma from the event, made it activate faster. The kicker is that it is possible this is the reason he could have survived being braindead for so long.”

Yondu shifted remembering all this and not liking where this was going.

So that thing was meant to kill him but had also saved him before it began to deteriorate his brain. God the concept was so sick, Ego truly was a bastard.

“Over time, Peter would have questioned everything, depression and uselessness but it wasn’t meant to be so obvious, but it would have come to a head eventually. “As you can see there is a message embedded in the damn thing.”

The Healer enhanced the screen once more so Yondu could see it, some word he couldn’t decipher while the Healer explained everything further.

“What does it say” Yondu finally asked, while the Healer offered a small smile, rare on her face.

 **“Kill your father”.** Then she signed.

“Alezduren explained to me what happened when he was abducted, that his father tortured him, with that question and Peter said that it was you.

His father’s plan was for Peter to kill you. When he came back from the dead, Peter was confused and scared, he wanted affection from you. Apparently what he’s always wanted from you, was scared at how he felt, that led too self-harming, and depression and the trauma on his brains robbed him of the ability to even grasp sensations.

Peter couldn’t kill you, so he felt like he had to kill himself”. She finally finished and tried to judge Yondu’s reaction.

Yondu tried to digest this, Ego had done all of this, all of this to his own son, because of.

“He did it to punish me” he finally said trying to keep impassive and failing, He had caused of this, Ego and Yondu. Shit, Yondu himself had caused all of this.

“What can I do?” he finally asked, trying to make sense of this and the teenage currently seeping on a biobed too which Razels exhaled.

“Peter’s depressed, I can’t cure that, he needs reassurance and…”

“And?”

“You pushed him away, Yondu, he feels like this was his fault and hates himself for it. you need to show that you give a damn about him”.

Yondu just thought see more and rubbed his hand over his fin.

“How the hell do I fix him?”

To which the Healer just rolled her eyes. “You can’t fix him; he needs to get better in his own time.”

Yondu digested this information, and seeing that damn thing, which was ripped from Peter, it seemed that it was taunting him. Yondu excused himself and turned on his feet. He knew Peter was sleeping and hadn’t really left his side. But he needed to escape, at that moment.

 

Stepping out into the organised chaos of Knowhere was like a slap in the face, and Yondu felt like trying to find a bar, internally he felt pissed every time his thoughts went back to Ego and Peter.

Yondu knew it was the Celestial and had tortured him, he knew where Peter was and could have taken him at any time, but he didn’t give a shit, like all the others. Peter had no idea about his dead half-siblings, but apparently, he lacked the thing that Ego needed. To Ego, Peter was just a nothing and had tormented him with that information just to make the boy go insane.

And Yondu…shit he knew about it, but like hell could he tell Peter that. How could he sit the teen down and explain everything?

Mentally Peter was damaged, and Yondu had to try something to change it.  Finding himself walking to clear his head, even though Knowhere was the last place to even attempt that. He found himself going through the markets. Peter had no clothes, and Yondu could at least get him something, wondering if Peter would appreciate the gesture.

Selecting the right clothes, Yondu made a mental decision not to get anything red, even though he knew it was Peter’s favourite colour, back when he was desperate to wear the coat and flame of the Ravagers.

The Ravagers, Yondu couldn’t even think about that now, it hadn’t been said, but he knew that Kraglin and Alezduren had taken over all that and informed the crew of something, but was strange that they cared so much even though up to this point Yondu hadn’t given a shit.

Throwing the t-shirt and jeans into a bag the seller had supplied even though Yondu wasn’t in the mood to engage in conversation over his shoulder. He was so deep in thought that he almost collided with a group of teenage boys, roughhousing on the street.

They ignored Yondu and didn’t even bother to apologise, the little sods, and just laughed amongst themselves causing Yondu to stop suddenly. They were all about Peter’s age, all unclean, since that was impossible on Knowhere, from their age, their childhood would soon end, but right now they were just kids having fun. Just like Peter should be, and could be.

With his kind formulating an idea, Yondu patched a call to Kraglin, he was finally going to make this right. He promised himself, while in a small Healing Centre in Knowhere Peter Jason Quill was drifting out of unconsciousness while the Healer WAS replacing his nutrient drip and Peter immediately looked around in a panic.

“Yondu”, he whispered his voice still too raw from the screaming during the surgery.

“He’ll be back Peter, he just stepped out” Razels placed a hand on the boy’s clammy forehead, in a bid to be reassuring, while Peter just looked into the distance. This was strange, people with real authority giving a shit about him.

“He’s going to leave me, isn’t he? He’s going to leave me with you and never come back”. Peter’s voice was so small, and he hated it, as the Healer just grabbed his hand and caressed it like a mother would.

“No Peter, he just stepped out. He won’t leave you, but…”

“But what?”

“Would you like him too, if he asked?”

Peter thought for a moment, but he just came back to the same conclusion he always did.

“No, because he’s all I’ve got” Peter just mumbled to the Healer, and just tried to sleep some more, wishing he was elsewhere but wishing to be nowhere else.

 

**To be continued**

**Please review xx**

 

 

“


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, I really had some troubles writing this chapter, fanfic fairies having abandoned me at the moment, but here it is. xx

**Wash your Sins Away Chapter 2**

**The Sighs that Yondu Cares Series**

After a few more days, Peter was now well enough to be discharged from the Centre, he was sitting up, off medication but eating food. All bland and tasteless but full of nutrients. However, he still looked withdrawn and pale, not speaking much and nobody wanted to force words out of him.

Healer Raziel had provided him with creams for his scars, but Peter staring down at his arms wasn’t in the mood to fix them. They were a reminder, a reminder of how he had screwed up.

It was hard to speak to Yondu about it, and he knew that his Captain was struggling making Peter feel even worse. Still, he wasn’t surprised when Yondu came in one morning and briskly instructed Peter to get dressed.

Peter just stared at the new pile of clothes he knew Yondu had brought for him aware that they were slightly too big for him, but obeyed, it was strange to be wearing something so new, and they felt raw on his skin, as he covered up the marks on his body. But he couldn’t let anyone see them.

Outside the room, he could see the Healer and Yondu having a conversation about something, but even though he could read lips, he couldn’t understand theirs. But thought he could make out the words “Everything’s arranged”, but he didn’t know what that meant.

A few comments later the Healer came back into the room with Yondu. “Alezduren and Kraglin are going to meet you at the door, but Peter, we’re concerned that being outside might upset you, and make you sick. So we want to sedate you, for your journey. Will that be okay?”.

Peter being used to sedation and medication over the last week just nodded, reconciling with the fact he would have to leave and go back to the Elector, and the thought made his head hurt.

“Yeah, I’d like that”.  Peter just whispered to the thin air, while he leaned forward, and gripped the edge of the bed with his hands.

Peter just looked in the distance, as the medication was being prepped, but then drew his gaze back to Raziel. “I’m scared” he finally confessed, “I don’t know how to talk to him about it” to which the Healer just smiled gently, “Peter’s he’s going to try, but you just have to trust him”.

Internally Raziel knew she had missed her opportunity to get Peter away from Yondu, but on Knowhere, in the head of one of the kids damn relations was not safe for him, and everyone but Peter knew that.

“Is Alezduren really your nephew?” Peter asked for the umpteenth time, still trying to understand the family connection between the two. “My sister’s son” Raziel confirmed, while Peter’s mind was now sedated and his words hazy. “Then he’s lucky” Peter could only say, not bothering to fight the encroaching sleep 

“I never saw Knowhere” Peter mummed, slipping into the blissful state of unconsciousness.

“You’re not missing much, it’s a real shit hole”, Yondu stated, whole the teenager relaxed, and slipped back, but not before whispering a soft “Thank you” to the Healer who just pressed her lips together.

With expert skill Yondu arranged Pete in his arms, his head resting across his shoulder, noticing once more how light the teenager felt in his arms.

All Yondu could do was clear his throat, while the Healer just glared at him, “So what’s the bill for all this?”, not that Yondu couldn’t afford it, but had been the one thing they haven’t discussed, even though it would be expensive.

To which the Healer just looked at the Captain of the Ravagers, with an unfeeling glare in her eyes.  “It’s nothing, just get him out of here and get him better, I’ve instructed you on what to do, so just sort your shit out Yondu,” Raziel said bristly, her tone made clear that the conversation was over, and just walked away. Any words she had, it wasn’t the time and never would be, and both of them knew that.

Stepping through the door and into the organised chaos of Knowhere, Peter squirmed from the sudden onslaught of smells and noises on his already dulled sense, while Alezduren and Kraglin who had been leaning against the building stepped fords and immediately flanked their Captain and sick crewman.

Walking through Knowhere, with Alezduren and Kraglin, walking ahead to endure no one steeped in front of Yondu, the sour looks on their faced a warning for no one to even try. Until there was Yondu’s M-Ship at the edge of town looking just as he had left it.

Peter didn’t even murmur as they walked in Yondu and went into the Captain’s chair followed by the other two Ravagers. No one said anything, and Yondu became aware of the sack of clothes and food they had all prepared in advance for this.

“Right let’s get out of this shithole,” Yondu remarked while Peter jerked suddenly causing him to look down as he took off and left Knowhere and behind. No one talked much during the few hours they were traversing Space. Yondu knew Kraglin and Alezduren had sorted it out and had come to an understanding. But he really didn’t give shits about it, as long as they didn’t try to kill each other then it was all good.

In his arms, Peter stirred occasionally, and Yondu managed to resist the urge to brush through the teen's hair and then hated himself for doing so. He hasn’t checked his messages but knew a summons from Starker would be coming.

Eventually, the planet appeared sight, and Alezduren took over the navigation array, bringing it into land, and every just took a break while Peter still in half sleep was jostled by his Captain.

 

“Peter, come on Quill wake up.”

 

Peter’s sleep was dreamless, but his head pulled back as the sunlight poured into the cockpit and Peter just took a breast at the sight before him.

In front of him, he could see the vast purple waves crashing over golden sands. For a boy who had spent so many years in space, he was confused. “Is this real?” he breathed to Yondu, who said nothing as Peter shakily got to his feet, and wordlessly made his way for the door which Alezduren threw open with a switch.

All three of them just sat for a moment and watched Peter making his way to the shore, and Yondu gave himself a moment of smug satisfaction, yeah this would make the teen happy. While Kraglin and Alezduren, grabbed the stuff and made their way to the large cabin, they had acqu

This beach was private; in fact, the whole Island was. Belonging to a Darbien rich bastard, who hardly ever used it, it had been easy for Alezduren to hack into the systems, change the force field so it would never register their presence. The Darbien some Warlord or something hadn’t used it in years, so probably didn’t care about it anyway.

Entering the cabin, Alezduren and Kraglin, immediately set out to make it presentable with the food and supplied they had brought, while Yondu just stood on the porch overlooking the sea and observed the boy but accepted a beer from Alezduren who had kept them chilled.

He could have cleaned, as he glanced and saw Kraglin wiping down sides fill of dust hastily, but sod that Yondu was Captain, and like hell was he going to be doing domestic shit.

Instead, he just stared at the horizon and watched the teenager. Peter was just staring at the sea openly drinking in the image and tore off his top leaving it discarded on the sand, the sun’s rays bearing down on his pale skin. Which causing his scarred arms to stand out, but Peter didn’t notice, as he kicked off his shoes, rolled his trousers up and took his first tentative steps into the ocean.

Peter gasped as the cold water washed over his ankles, and he dug his toes into the sand enjoying the sensation, and just drank in the feeling of everything he had wanted and been denied to him for so long. He was on a Beach for the first time in years, just like he had wished, Yondu had taken him to the beach just like he promised.

So Yondu cared about him? But then the same niggling doubt entered his mind, which he hated, but he just couldn’t help it and almost reached up to scratch his neck even though he didn’t need to do that anymore.

Yondu had done this, Yondu had done all this for him…but why? The same niggling doubt which had plagued Peter for so long rose its ugly head, and he knew his depression was the cause of it.

Turning his head, Peter could see Yondu standing on the porch drinking beer and looking right at him, but once again Peter’s body felt twisted. He had spent so long feeling pushed out of Yondu’s life, and now all of this.

“We’ve set up the main bedroom for you, Alezduren and I are going on the second, and the bedroom at the front is for Peter, so he can see the ocean”. Kraglin finished coming out to join his Captain, while the sound of Alezduren trying to cook on a stove which hadn’t been used in years filled the air.

Kraglin was drinking a bottle of beer, and just stood next to his Captain, but only exhaled.

“Do you think this is going to work?” Kraglin asked Yondu, who was just silent for a moment. “No… don’t have any fucking options anymore do I?” was all he could say. What the hell was Yondu expecting, that he would bring Peter to the beach and that was it, no? This wasn’t over by a long shot, and everyone knew that.

 

**To be continued**

**Please review**

**xx**

 


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